Tourist Claims to Be ‘Fluent’ in Local Language, Can Only Order Beer and Ask for Bathroom

In an astonishing display of linguistic prowess, a tourist visiting Spain has claimed to be fluent in Spanish, though his vocabulary is limited to ordering beer and asking for the bathroom. John Smith, a 26-year-old from the United States, has been confidently navigating the country with just two phrases, “Una cerveza, por favor” and “¿Dónde está el baño?”

During his two-week vacation, Smith has become known among locals for his endearing, albeit misguided, efforts to speak the language. “At first, we thought he was just a typical tourist,” said Maria Garcia, a bartender at a popular Madrid tapas bar. “But then he kept coming back and ordering beer after beer, all while claiming he could speak Spanish fluently.”

Despite Smith’s insistence that he’s a master of the language, locals have started to notice the gaps in his knowledge. “He seemed to struggle when I asked him for his ID,” recalled Garcia. “He just looked at me, panicked, and then asked for the bathroom.”

Smith’s linguistic limitations have also made for some awkward encounters. While exploring the city, he stopped to ask a group of locals for directions to a nearby museum. Unable to comprehend their response, he resorted to repeating his two go-to phrases. The amused locals eventually led him to the nearest bar.

“I don’t think he understands that knowing a couple of phrases doesn’t make you fluent,” said Enrique Martinez, one of the locals who encountered Smith. “But we must admit, he’s quite good at ordering beer.”

In an attempt to further his language skills, Smith has signed up for a local language exchange. Unfortunately, his language partners quickly discovered that their conversations revolved exclusively around beer and bathroom locations.

Despite his limited vocabulary, Smith remains confident in his abilities. “I’ve always had a knack for languages,” he claimed. “I mean, I can order beer and find a bathroom in six different languages. That’s practically multilingual, right?”

As Smith’s trip comes to an end, he plans to continue exploring the world and expanding his linguistic repertoire, one beer and bathroom at a time.

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