China ????????
Before I went to University I asked my parents if I could spend 2 months volunteering in a school just outside of Guangzhou, China. After a lot of persuading and gaining the appropriate visas, they agreed to finance my trip, only because it wasn’t as they put it, an opportunity for me to kill my brain cells and catch an STI like some of their friend’s children who went travelling.
The school was great and the children were a dream to teach, it was my first time overseas alone and I enjoyed every second. I was soon asked by the head of the school if I could help teach English to some of the adult classes in the evenings. I agreed and was given a class 3 nights a week of 18-30 year old’s.
Being a young British lad, I soon attracted a small following of local girls who often brought me gifts of food. One in particular was very keen, and asked to stay behind after class to go over her homework. I asked if I could walk her home, where one thing led to another and we ended up making out. The next time I saw her she asked to stay behind after class again, I obliged, but this time things escalated to a full on session on the teachers desk.
The next morning when I went to the school to prepare for the days classes, I was surprised to find the head and two senior teachers waiting for me in my classroom. They asked me to follow them, and we went into the head’s office. They produced a DVD which they put onto the guys computer, turned the screen to face me, and showed me my deed from the night before. I was asked to leave the premises and never return, and to pack my things from the guest house the school had organised for me.
So I’m now essentially stranded in China, but know that if I call home and tell my parents what had happened, I’d be on the next flight home. So I came up with an ingenious plan. I called home and told my parents of the squalor I was living in at the guest house the school had provided, and I wanted to move to a cheap hotel. Scared that their son would catch dysentery, they transferred a large sum of money to facilitate my move.
I spoke to the Chinese embassy, sorted my visa to allow double entry, then went straight to a travel agents and bought a ticket to Thailand. I spent the next 4 weeks killing my brain cells and trying my best to catch an STI. I flew back to China in time for my flight home and was met at Heathrow by my parents. I told them about my amazing trip, and told them the reason I was so tanned was because the new hotel had a swimming pool.
My lie lasted approximately 8 hours, until my Dad found my passport and saw I’d actually been in South East Asia. That was the last time my parents ever gave me money.
